After my morning personal training session and as I wandered the miles into work for a new week, I found myself skirting around the subject of desire and sexuality and what it means or doesn’t mean. For me.
There is physical hunger ( often called lust) which races like an infection through every breath one takes. When this level of desire hits it is intoxicating, exciting and galvanising. BUT it doesn’t last. Sadly. I know as a woman I like being desired. Being wanted in that way reassures me in some way. Reaffirms that I am lovable. When I do not feel wanted in a physical way somehow that translates as me somehow not being good enough; not attractive enough, not lovable. But are these impressions that live deep down inside of me correct? Am I right or wrong to measure my worth in this way. It was a surprise to realise that my own physical desire is not always linked to the body’s hunger, but can be linked to needing reassurance. No9w I need to think about this.
At what point in a life should one put away this want and need to feel desirable?
Does it go away?
it never goes away…. and that’s good. We all want to feel desired, wanted, needed…. lovable/loved.
Those feelings don’t have to be necessarily satisfied through a lover, but even just any other person (family, friend, etc.). Without some kind of satisfaction you feel worthless…. it’s simply a basic desire we all have. If no one cares about you/me, what’s the use of living, right?
I don’t think it does. I feel much the same as you and really suffered during the last 10 months of Dale’s life (when he lost his libido)
I need a partner that has similar wants & needs, and looked for that when I first began dating.
Interesting question.
Obviously desire can be just as emotional as physical. thats why alot of people have pets esp dogs as they give out loyalty and affection without a humans other facets.
Maggs it’s not easy to sublimate ones selfworth and that is an important part of our need to be desired.
To be honest i don’t think you need it to be put to one side.
But then I am a man!!
I don’t want to, nor believe one should or needs to sideline self worth and satisfying one’s needs that way. It was a thought I had not considered before. Sometimes I wonder about these things.. LOL
I have been pondering on this for a little while…
I believe self-esteem/self-worth has to be based on something besides whether or not someone finds you desirable. I feel that you have to desire yourself first- that your desirability has to based on something more real and less ephemeral. I think it starts (or begins) in the same place as self-love.
Anyway, that is my two cents worth.
Take care- Gina
Gina, my inner self agrees. The one that looks at ideal. My real self notices certain things in me. it makes me wonder at the gap. I suppose this is a form of emotional gap analysis. Maggs
it doesn’t go away…or rather, it shouldn’t. Desire should not be mistaken for any of the myriad of other emotions we are blessed with. Desire is the dream, the reaching out as if to take the feather floating in the wind…
Thanks Burst. That is a lovely image, and shows me another doorway.