Today she is 14, and yesterday and the day prior she filled the house with her school friends and folded in a day at the beach.
The sleepover went well – Tony left the house at 3.30am seeking coolness and quiet. And went and slept in the car. The loungeroom was dotted with some sleeping-some waking female bodies some curled around each other like puppies while the Crow was in the background. He took himself to the car which he claims was cooler and quieter. He also claims he would have handled it differently and killed them.
Bottom line, I remember a talcum powder fight Tess and her friends had at a similar age from one end of the house to the other. And I am well aware that at the end of it, geni said she has had the best birthday EVER!!! She is growing and right now as much as she loves us, her friends matter. Her friends may be loud and thoughtless in the middle of the night ( I went out and did the teaching thing… asking them to consider others and that lasted about an hour. A volume of 25 on the screen was inappropriate after 11pm so they turned it down to 25 and I turned it down to 10 and hid the remote.
But all things considered, it went well and she was happy and it was her birthday and that was sort of the point. The last two were collected at 7ish yesterday evening and we began to clean through while I made Geni’s bedroom over. She helped with the cleanout/cleanup/cleandown willingly.
How these 14 years have slipped away between us. Her dad and I separated when she was very young and he used the children and access to them as a means to get at and hurt me. For some years I let him as I felt bad about myself, too. But then I fought back.
She is smarter than she lets on but she has the balance between school work and a social life well balanced. She is active both at school and at home and is fussy about what she eats and very concerned with looking JUST right, and wearing the right clothing. She likes to read but applies herself less, preferring social networking or yabbering on the phone.
Her father always favoured her younger sister ( who resembles his own sister who is tall and blonde) calling Geni fat and ugly and stupid. As small girl this twisted her and scarred her until she fought back, and chose to live her with us. I have done nothing but love my children and went to battle for her. With her I stressed how important it was for her to be happy; we faced her fears together ( the dark, dogs, spiders) and these long standing fears are gone.
I asked her to begin to dream of her life and her future and I carry close to me the day she said to me – “Mum I have started to dream!!”
In her I see the woman she is becoming. She has a male special friend (boyfriend) but has chosen not to step across the “physical” line at this time. I am grateful. They go out in a large mixed group and this is great.
I cannot see who she will become but I see glimmers sometimes.
I do know I love her with all my heart.