Archive | March 2009

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I look at you. I never tire of looking at you. You are perfect for me. When you turn your eyes upon me, and look and quietly whisper “what?”, I melt. Simple as that. From day 1, I melt. I melt still.


Through another day I got.  I push open my door and haul in my work bag closing screen door and door behind me and as the door closes, knowing I am completely alone here, I sink to the floor where I am. I cannot tell you how long I sat there, staring into space.   […]

Hope deferred

death – a thousand cuts layering opening life blood seeps with my tears   self placed, not first – last another lifted high up towards their satiety   small voice cries sometimes what about me? please me too dying by inches waiting.


I have some things to work through so I shall not be here for a while.   Take care

Abigail Louise Born yesterday 9.42 pm

Abigail joined us, finally – a most welcome 2955gm addition to our family and is already much MUCH loved.  Her entry was at great length and her cord had to be cut as it was cutting off her breathing and finally, out she popped.  I resisted the temptation to pop down and camp in the […]

Abigail on her way

Into life my latest grandchild lurches, inch by inch, contraction by contraction.  As Abi showed no signs of joining us herself, and because of Tess’ heart problems, mummy was admitted to the maternity ward late last night and a gel pessary used. Which did not work. At 5.30am this morning they broke her waters and […]

First weekend.

I walked for an hour, or so that stretched to two. I had the first civil conversation in a week with Tony. I cried myself until I slept exhausted.