In the midst of a discussion about love and what it means and how it manifests, centred around expectations of and surviving teenage behaviour, it struck me that love is defined by each individual in their own way and so many things shadow and influence the individiual definition of love.
It was pointed out to me that love appears to involve sacrifice. I was told this was unhealthy, and in some ways that is true. But it got me thinking.
For me love is about loving someone ANYWAY> One doesn;t stop loving or treating someone well because they misbehave or make poor choices. Love is a gift. And tell me, which of us doesn;t want to be loved in that way?
Love is when someone else’s happiness means more to you than your own. They feel the same way and that is why it works. You give to them, t0 see them happy and they give to you – for that reason. Yes, Please JUST call me Pollyanna. I know the flaws are that we are all human. I know, for example, I have been involved in far too many relationships where I give and the other person takes – one version of give and take but not ideal. See in that scenario, an imbalance develops and resentment develops. Not pretty.
I am also well aware of the fact that the majority of my adult life has been as a mother where someone ( or a group of someone’s) very survival rested on my sacrifice in many instances. And I counted it as nothing. With children you know eventually they will “get it” but they like a good wicket and will take with the best of them. After all – they are so important and the center of the known universe – aren’t they??
I got thinking about all of this simply because I am currently reordering my priorities and I have moved what I want higher up the list. I am seeking balance. I matter.
What is love to you, for you?