As I have not stinted on life and living I have walked the Red Carpet at film premieres, met and grown to know people mentioned in news reports (sometimes favourably – sometimes not so favourably!) , lived in many countries and savoured and tasted mny cultures far different from that I was raised to believe was “normal”, flown in private jets and dined in premier restaurants.
For a fleeting moment, all the above events made me feel a little giddy and slightly glamourous and at the “centre” of things and gave me cause toc all my mum or a friend and exclaim “You will NEVER guess where I am and who I am with….”
But never for a second have any of these made me happy. Walking the Red carpet, for example,often involves uncomfortable clothing, being kept waiting what seems like FORVER for global egos and talking inanely with folk who could not care less that you are there, as their eyes constantly scan the crowd for someone famous. Much more fun for me is to share a movie with someone I love at the local theatres, holding hands in the dark and sneaking sips of his soda sharing the chocolate coated ice cream which seems to exist everywhere.
If I think about it, the time I am happiest is curled under a ratty old throw rug on the lounge with children and grandkiddlies snuggled all around and against me watching a rerun of a dvd. I know they are warm, safe, well fed and content. I am a lioness with her cubs – in fact I think I would almost wash them with my tongue if they would let me. And there I sit watching a movie I have seen amny times before enjoying it anew through their unjaded eyes.
It is simple pleasures and not fancy treats which make me feel whole. They reassure me that the world is where it should be. They pull me into the moment where I may live intensely even these small pleasures away from some unsetling future which may not even happen. Or if it has, these moments, reassure, distratc and soothe.
In winter I watch the morning cloud fill the river valley at the edge of my yard. I hear the birds raucously proclaiming morning and I embrace another wondrous day of life. In spring I wait for the wattle to puff into golden life nd listen while half of humanity develops sinus issues and sneezes, eye watering. I cut three of four branches and place them inside because this tells me that winter is dead and warmer weather approaches.
I like the clean lines of a well ordered house: if I am restless or troubled I will clean out the wardrobe or tackle the linene closet or pantry. The drudgery of cleaning and sorting and organising is repaid many times over with the pleasure of opening a door and seeing everything lined neatly, inviting me to touch, or cook. I love taking a bootload of books or linene and clothing to th charity shop and it feels as if the whole house has been cleansed.
The deepest pleasures are not the huge long-anticipated events that scatter our lives. For me pleasure is small, personal and impromptu. The ime a friend dropped by and you listened to and danced to crap 80’s songs; the last lesson of semester that ended in a bar somewhere giggling over lousy wine with a classfull of people you had always wanted to get to know; Words from someone dear from a world way sharing small precious pieces of their world with me ….
What makes you happy?