I wait for you.
I wait and you do not come. The longer I wait, the more time I spend without you, the more difficult it becomes to think of anything else.
When I can bear my own company no longer and I am desperate for distraction, I set out to “discover” a friendly local anonymous cafe. I got part of the way, turned a corner , but I didnt check before I stepped onto the road almost directly into the path of an oncoming car.
The driver wound down his window and called me a “stupid fxxxing bitch…, and made a rude gesture. This left me so hollow and shaky that I turned on my heel and hightailed it back home and didnt breathe again until I was back inside the door. Safely.
Once, you checked the road for me and when I absent mindedly went to step just like that you always cautioned me and pulled me back or at least made me aware. I need someone with me to care enough about me to look after me as if I am something precious, made of glass. I need someone to keep danger at bay – even the danger that lives inside me, and my sometimes choices.