Maudlin Moments

grown and intertwined - lifelong

...two trees who grew side by side, so closely and so long they are intertwined on all levels

Today is a maudlin day for me; one of those days where I am more aware of the lack in my life than the numerous blessings I have been gifted with.

My mother and dad fought, argued worked and did their best for us from the day they were married until the day my father died.  They committed for life, for better, for worse.  Even today as I listen to Mum talk about history and our earlier years and she talks of my dad, I see and hear her strength as I often have, but I hear and feel the thick heavy pulse of lifelong love tht binds them still although my daddy is long dead ( since 1984).

This makes me well and truly aware of what I do not have.  Although I am loved, deeply ( and occasionally hated ) by my children, and loved ANYWAY by my mother and no doubt by my dad and nana as well,  I have not been blessed by a partner who can love me for myself – good, bad, ups down and all the flaws and blessings.    Today that grieves me.


4 comments on “Maudlin Moments

  1. Hi again, Maggie ~ well it’s beautiful and it tells your feelings. That’s so great when we can actually paint a canvas of something that’s inside us.

    Like when we write too, sometimes the words become a painting.

    I hope you feel better… here’s another *hug*

    Take care

  2. That painted has lived and grown as an idea inside me across the last 8 years and finally arrived on canvas this weekend. Thnks Sunny.

  3. *hugs* Maggie ~ I hope you feel better as the day goes on…and evening comes in.
    It’s rough to not have a spouse who can/will love us for ourselves.
    I’m currently dealing with ‘something’ along this line, although he is not a spouse, but have been good friends for so long! 13 years.
    My Dad dies in January but my Mom is still living and my Aunt and Uncle and Sis. I know they all love me as I am .

  4. Very fitting picture for a long and committed marriage. The saying goes…we become like our spouses. ( somewhere I read that)

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