I am learning you CAN have it all – just not all at once.
Here I am past 1am, still wide awake half watching a movie ( or the bonus section on a dvd ) and half typing here with a small piece of my mind thinking a word puzzles answers and shifting from the keyboard to a pen to scribble things down to fill the blank spaces on the puzzle.
Suddenly it struck me that I am awake – now, because I am finding it harder than ever to switch off and slow down. How different would it be if I really focus intently on this piece I am typing with all my heart and mind and soul? How different would it be if I was fully engaged in what I am doing right now? Across my mind play thoughts of today, some of yesterday and events then – and the past week, and some thoughts towards the week coming up. The crowd each other and flit across my mind; the argument from yesterday, the decisions I need to make at work this week, what exactly I need to do and when tomorrow….
I have discovered that paying total attention to what is happening right now and living in this moment rather than worrying about the past or the future is much harder than it sounds. My more difficult days are when I look back and tear apart events and past conversations trying to make sense of where I am right now.
From right now for the next 24 hours I am going to attempt to live with and within a moment to moment awareness of my thoughts, feelings and surroundings and I am going to reflect on how this choice of perspective impacts on my stress levels.