One of my big lessons thus far this year has been a huge nudge from life to show love to myself in the way I show love to anyone else I love. It is not as silly as it seems. Too often we lavish care and gifts, treats and treasures on those we care for, but we don’t treat ourself in the same way.
“Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.” William Shakespeare
By being generous with others, and not with ourselves in the same way we risk disappointment. We also risk resentment growing. One cannot keep giving and giving, without someone refilling the well. Eventually if one person gives and another or others take (and not give back) there is a terrible imbalance that grows. I know I have found myself that I “expect” something back if I lavish love and care in oh so many forms on another. Surely that “other” would do the same for me? In an ideal world, it could indeed happen that way.
However, this is not a perfect world. I can thank Tony over the last six years for teaching me very certainly that no-one else IS me, nor understands or expresses love exactly as I do. It doesn’t mean that other person doesn’t love – it just means they have their own unique way of expressing it. They too are unique.
During the last couple of months in the midst of tumultuous change I have been living and learning how to show love to myself. This is revolutionary for me. Further, I believe this has helped me find a balance when the world upended. I found earth and ground. I have sustained and am managing to survive this upheaval.
In fact, tipping my world upside down was an example of loving myself. Here I made an uncomfortable choice but it opened the door for growth, and opened the window into seeing what was real and what wasn’t.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” ~ Oscar Wilde