It was a late night and a long Christmas Eve, but worth it. Work, the final wrapping, a quick trip to the shops….. AJ helped with the tree and as it approached Midnight, he became as wound up as a spinning top.
This morning, aside from needing a good strong coffee before madness descends, I actually slept (and slept well). Now I am waiting for the girls to awake when we distribute gifts. What sits beneath our tree is sparse compared to our usual mountainous practise ( and the large size of our Family!!) simply because Christmas will be at Tess’ place, and the majority of gifts I sent there – so the girls and I won’t be carting them on Christmas Day itself.
Moments of yearning and lost “missing” loves wash over me like waves.
- I see a tacky Christmas ornament gifted by Aunty Marjorie sitting in the middle of my dining table, and I whisper a prayer for her spirit, and for Uncle Kevin facing his first Christmas alone in many many long years.
- I think of Tony and hope and pray he has somewhere to spend today with those who love him. Despite our ending, it does not mean for me that love ended, too. For me, love is not dependent on someone’s good behaviour – it is a gift. Usually when someone is hardest to love, that is when they need it most. The love remains, and is with me still. Love does not die. I do love Tony. I did love Tony. It is a simple and true statement.
- I think also of Tony’s son Nick who has struggled and fought such a huge battle this last part of the year. I hope he continues to make improvements. I hope his memory comes back and his mobility improves enough for him to return to school and to be able to take up “normal” teenage life again without terrible headaches.
- I think of my sister who did not take up our offer to join us all. For her and David, her 9 year old son, I wish joy and peace and love.
- For Mike, I hope the love he has found warms his heart and that his day is joyous.
- I think of Vince ( in Canada and so far away) and little Cleo – who is not so little any more and hope love is wrpped around them both.
The girls have ordered bacon and egg sandwiches and I have organised a platter of their favourite fruits; nectarines, cherries, peaches, grapes, melon for us all to pick at as we open gifts. Then it is onto early lunch and Tess’ place and the whole family.
In these moments before madness and Family Zoo sweep us all up, I reflect in the heat and sultry summerness – so much a part of an Australian Christmas.