Last night while the little niggles of life gathered, sat on my shoulder and added their combined weight to mine and hauled my spirit down. I have lived too long, and endured and survived too much of life to not know that the feelings although real at that moment would soon pass.
What replaced them was shame in myself ( again) because the news that lifted the pall was of loss of a dear friend. This dear friend is someone who was always unfailingly kind and lit the world with her love of her husband (who passed away recently) and her family. Betty always had a good word to say for everyone and to everyone. But her battle on losing Paul was a tough one. How does one survive the loss of half of oneself? The thing about this “friend” is that we never physically met. I came across her on Journalspace some time ago and always visited her blog. Her kindness and love shone like a beacon, and although that particular blogging site ceased to exist, the community perpetuated. Betty, along with many Journalspace refugees, became and was a friend on facebook as well. This online community was a support network of individuals who found each other, and found a way to stay with each other – virtually, and stay that way to today.
Betty passed away in her sleep yesterday ( with global confusion it was my day and her night). On the positive she is with her beloved Paul and her dad who passed before her, but leaves sisters and family mourning. But I too mourn her passing (while a piece of me is grateful she is again with Paul – as she was never quite the same once he passed.)
My little niggles became as nothing; just the layering of a full life.
For each of you who have touched my life, I want you to know I value and appreciate every minute I have known you and for the very fact I do know you. Thank you for your company on this journey. Thank you for your support and understanding through my ups and downs and dramas. My life is richer, my sense of who I am and who I might grow into becoming is surer because I know you and your caring helps more than any of you know. Thank you.