Alone in the house, I finished what I had planned and setled into my bedtime routine. As always I turned out the lamp, closed my book – carefully noting the page ( to begin again in the morning). I rolled onto my right side and curled the doona around me and up under my chin and fll into sleep.
The next thing I knew, I was disoriented and awake. For some reason I believed it was 5am and so time for me to dress, prepare the coffee and go for my morning walk. So I began my routine, glanced at the time….whoops. it was 1.30am. So I sipped some water, turned out the light rolled again onto my right side and the room rolled with me and I rolled and it felt like I was falling off the edge of life. Now where did that come from and what was that!!. I opened my eyes, grabbed for the lamp switch and willed the world to stop rolling by.
It didnt. I sat up. It didn’t immediately stop. I pushed down panic. ALL sorts of thoughts corssed my mind. I wondered what came next, and what it was. I talked myself, silently into BREATHING in and out, slowly and rhythmically.
The walls stopped rolling by me like a crazy carousel. I settled myself. Tried to lie down and settle into sleep again. It started again. So I sat m,yself back up. After another hour I resolved to prop myself on a mound of pillows and settle into sleep that way. By that time I had decided NOT to turn off the light either.
What was it? I don’t know. It is so out of character I took myself to the doctor on my way to work. I am still not 100% – being clammy ( running hot and chilled alternately) and a little nauseous. It could be a virus of some sort, but it could be a precursor of some nasties. So better safe than sorry in this instance. A blood workup later and I went through the day.
It was a reminder that one never knows what lies up ahead. It may not be as dramatic as this wakeup call from life – just for me. It could be something or someone wonderful that happens into your life when you least expect it. Everything changes in an instant. There are infinite possibilities. All of them start with one step, one choice, one action.