Experience comes from what one does;
Competence comes from what one does well;
Wisdom comes from what one does badly.
Success comes from learning from all three.
So since I have a raft of spectacular failures in relationship with da opposite sex, does that explain my so called wisdom when it comes to advice to others??
This last week, someone I love dearly plopped themself down and asked me to explain men/boys to them because she just didn’t get it. I broke it down into a few simple statements:
- Men are human too
- EVERYBODY regardless of gender learns their own lessons int heir own way or time – and in some cases NOT learns them ( their choice and it is theirs to make!!)
- Don’t measure anyone ( male or female) by your own values – they have their own.
Wading into the arena of “What should I do??? I don’t know! ” to sit down with someone and answer their call for you to help decode their decision quandry, can be fraught with danger. Even when someone asks for your help, that may not mean they want to hear the truth. Truth often stings, as badly as a cut with a very sharp knife – however it is a clean cut and heals clean and almost scarless.
Maybe they just want you to listen – in which case practice active listening; you nod, listen, ask questions that draw thoughts out ( leading questions) and lead that person into facing whatever it is they need to face/see/deal with. And paraphrase simplified, of course, what they have said to you – so they know you have “got” them.
And if they are NOT talking, that’s okay too. Check in on them and see if they need anything, tell them you love them and are here when they are ready to talk.
They will come to you.
Most of all, remember it is not yours to fix. This is theirs.
Just remember to pick your