Yes, No

In your life, what is the balance between “yes” and “no”?

“In the space between yes and no, there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; its the legroom for the lies you’ll tell yourself in the future.” ~ Jodi Picoult.

How do you use Yes and NO???

They are powerful words and concepts.  They can be a gateway into or out of.  They can be a wall to hide behind.  It all depends on which you choose and where the choices begin.  And who prompts the choices.

  • Are you comfortable saying “No?”.
  • Do you feel you HAVE to say “Yes”, regardless of what you think and feel?
  • Are you a people pleaser?

Have you stopped and thought about WHY you feel you have to say “yes” when every instincts screams NOOOOOOOOoooooo inside?  Somehow that yes comes out and a well of twisting resentment starts to build inside of you.

You have to practice saying NO when that is your intent.

You have permission to say no whenever you like, however you like, in whatever kind of voice you like, without feeling like only Mean Girls Say No and Nice Girls Say Yes. That’s bull. Yes and No have equal weighting – what’s important is if you use them when they are the best thing for you, not out of fear, obligation or guilt.



14 comments on “Yes, No

  1. I used to be that kind of person, my dear friend, but have restrained myself NOT to be.

  2. hi Maggs… just thought I’d stop by and say hello. I don’t come to WordPress much.

    As always your entries are very inspiring. I’m the type of person who has trouble saying “no”. Someone asks a favor, I’ll usually say yes, no matter how inconvenient it is… *sigh*

  3. It also cuts do
    wn on resentment and negativity. u value yourself and your time more highly, others start to as well.

  4. Yeah, it is quite liberating. I have been trying to use it more often also so that I don’t get taken advantage of.

  5. Historically I also have been the person who says yes even when she means no, but I have been practising and have granted myself permission to say no. it is empowering and liberating; and doesn’t even have to be rude. It is merely a true representation of what I want, or not as the case may be.

  6. Very true, Yes & No can have a balance. The hard part is usually figuring out how to do so.

    I usually find myself that person who always says Yes.

  7. http://birdmartin.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/the-versatile-blogger-award-moi/

    I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. While I’m fully aware that a lot of the writers I follow don’t play these games, I wanted to show my appreciation for what your writing does for me. So there you have it…Tag! You’re It!!


  8. Thank you my new friend. I took a little look-see at your site and found myself nodding along in agreement too. Nice to meet you.

  9. Ahhh, praise you for just following my blog and allowing me to see this post! I have been thinking about “yes and no” all day today, and how my lack of saying “no” is causing me to be super-stressed with entirely too much to do. I did take a step and say no to something today that I really, really didn’t want to do, so maybe some progress is being made! 🙂 I look forward to reading more from you!

  10. Why thank you!!!! I always enjoy my time spent in your world, also.

  11. Because you’ve been a huge inspiration to me, I’ve nominated you for this award. I usually don’t pass these along, but I wanted all the bloggers who inspire me to know that you are. Here’s the post and the rules. Keep blogging! http://colddeadheart.wordpress.com/2012/04/01/very-inspiring-blogger-awards/

  12. It has taken me FOREVER. I live in hope my daughters do not have to learn the hardest of ways by repeatedly making the same errors.. Powerful words. Breaking conditioning is exceptionally hard the first time; but gets easier with each successive step across that unknown.
    Eventually it turns all the way around so one does this with elan. And quietly watch the shock register on others’ faces when it finally dawns on them that you no longer play THAT game 🙂

  13. It is so hard as a woman to say NO and not feel bad, conditioning has a lot to be answerable for. But at the same time, saying yes can be hard for some also (ie “no, no I don’t need your help!”) .. I was grateful / thankful I learned to do these before my life got too far down the track, as it does make life better in so many ways .. neat thought provoking post, thanks 🙂

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