Worth a try methinks..
Birthday Memories 2012
the Ups
- Being together
- Idyllic weather
- Easy to get to
- The building was quaint
- The menu on download showed promise
- Near a park for the little ones
- Able to book
the Downs
- We ordered and waited over an hour before food arrived at the table ( and that ONLY after we complained…)
- My food was cold. Poached eggs came with a rancid sauce ( tasted like shop bought mayo but long unused) and on cold limp toast. I had no intention of eating the toast OR the sauce and moved each off the eggs BUT the eggs should at least have been HOT
- The service staff were a clump of four very young girls ( around 15). Not an issue in itself but there was no mature supervision or direction.
- One in our group requested a bottled drink. Staff stood there chatting for 25 minutes and ONLY moved to deliver the drink from the visible fridge when he got up to complain.
- The barista was surly and brusque and from the beginning got the first drinks order wrong.
- Steak ordered medium rare was well done and delivered cold.
- Burgers ordered with tomato sauce were slathered in bbq sauce
- My side of steamed greens with almonds never arrived.
- One service staff saw our disquiet and single handedly tried to manage things. needless to say she was the one who received our tip – directly into HER hands.
I am sufficiently disappointed to seek out the owner of the cafe and provide constructive feedback; he requires kitchen staff who understand that food should be hot to the table and delivered in a timely fashion. He requires service staff who serve not stand about in clumps gossiping about patrons and only serving those they know. There needs to be a service team leader with the maturity and strength to direct the service staff.
Since I moved into this area I have been seeking a quaint establishment I can frequent for my herbal teas and the odd meal with friends. I can assure you this would be the last place on earth I would return to – nor would I ever recommend this to friends or family.
To top the afternoon off, we all convened in Hornsby. Some went by car convoy while two of us hopped a train. We alighted at Waitara and opted to walk with a side visit to the local gym for information on casual visits ( plus certain teenage companion wanted a look and conversation with HOT guy behind desk….). That we accomplished. No problems. We came to a busy road and the wind was blowing a gale ( get the idea I am setting the scene for something??)….. Hair was blowing everywhere for us both…teenage companion was chattering away about hot gym guy… I glanced up as we reached the pedestrian island in the centre of a very busy road where three roads intersect and which we were in the middle of crossing and a car came around the corner and the person driving looked like someone I knew. This distracted me momentarily and DOWN I went – hard. You know that feeling when you feel yourself falling and WHAM – it happens? Well I have two scraped knees a bitumin embedded palm, a scraped hand and my face and chin slammed the road.
I remember thinking that at least ONLY 6 inches of me was on the road ( the road of course HAD to be a busy one….) It must have looked bad because daughter with me freaked out and treated me like an old lady for the rest of the day, and a man got out of his vehicle to help me up. Trust me – I took my time. Once I was sure there was nothing broken and I was certain it was only gravel rash and bruising, we briefly stopped home for bandaids for the bleedy bits and continued up to meet the rest of the family.
What is a birthday celebration without a bit of drama???
So in life there are ups and downs. You just dust yourself off and get on with it. BUT I am still going to complain errrrrrr provide feedback to that Cafe.
“Can’t” ~ Edgar Albert Guest, from a book called ‘Heap O Livin’ 1916
_Can’t_ is the worst word that’s written or spoken;
Doing more harm here than slander and lies;
On it is many a strong spirit broken,
And with it many a good purpose dies.
It springs from the lips of the thoughtless each morning
And robs us of courage we need through the day:
It rings in our ears like a timely-sent warning
And laughs when we falter and fall by the way.
_Can’t_ is the father of feeble endeavor,
The parent of terror and half-hearted work;
It weakens the efforts of artisans clever,
And makes of the toiler an indolent shirk.
It poisons the soul of the man with a vision,
It stifles in infancy many a plan;
It greets honest toiling with open derision
And mocks at the hopes and the dreams of a man.
_Can’t_ is a word none should speak without blushing;
To utter it should be a symbol of shame;
Ambition and courage it daily is crushing;
It blights a man’s purpose and shortens his aim.
Despise it with all of your hatred of error;
Refuse it the lodgment it seeks in your brain;
Arm against it as a creature of terror,
And all that you dream of you some day shall gain.
_Can’t_ is the word that is foe to ambition,
An enemy ambushed to shatter your will;
Its prey is forever the man with a mission
And bows but to courage and patience and skill.
Hate it, with hatred that’s deep and undying,
For once it is welcomed ’twill break any man;
Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying
And answer this demon by saying: “I _can_.”
‘Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.’ ~ Unknown
Fears.
Fear
Can be crippling. For me at times they have been. If I reach back as far as I can go, I can fear, and choices made OR not made at crossroads in my life because fear was an enemy instead of a friend. THAT voice ( you know the one that pops up and sits on your shoulder whispering how you are ‘just not good enough‘, OR ‘have never done it before so why bother now‘ OR even, ‘just one – gooooo on, take just one – you can always start again. YOU deserve it.’ OR ‘This has always made you feel good so why not?‘ This voice and those fears can be the reason we stall in our progress towards a treasured goal. Fear can stop us when we have gone so far and done so well. Can paralyse. Often did paralyse me.
The other dire voices are the ones that tell you that those people who expect you to take on a job or a role ‘don’t really know you.‘ ‘you are already overworked, how can you possibly do this?‘ And then it starts. You have entertained it, so it sits down and has a party and you sit with it and agree. YOU are just going to fail and let people down – then they will know the REAL you. Think about it – someone has just given you a compliment by assigning you something amazing because THEY see and believe you can do it. Yet the very first thing your voice does is UNDERMINE you.
Do you recognise any of these? Once upon a time I thought I was the only one who had this inner dialogue. I mean, noone else ever talked about it or exposed this side of themself. I egotistically thought it was JUST ME!! Guess what, FEAR is no respecter of persons. Dealing with FEAR, with THAT VOICE is part of being human.
Have you ever thought that your fear of succeeding may very well be the reason your progress and impetus forward STOPS?? Do you recognise any of these thoughts/ questions?
- What if I get there and I am still not happy?
- What if losing 20 kilos still won’t make me beautiful?
- What if I do all this and he/she still doesn’t love me?
- What if I do this – what THEN?
Suddenly, everything stalls. The brains ends the body a message and a dreaded plateau strikes.
A new friend posted the image above on Facebook and it struck a chord with me. It goes along with my reframing message. WHAT if, as Gandhiji said:
‘Fear has its use but cowardice has none.’
So, let’s look at fear differently after acknowledging we all face it, carry it and live with it.
‘The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.’
~ Mark Twain
Now, I look at fears differently. I am grateful for that voice, not that I entertain the sentiments.
‘If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?’
~ Confucious
I do examine the sentiments, and often discard them as truth. However, then I use them as a prompt to spur me on, to live in the moment – THIS moment , to truly stretch myself to become the very best me I can possibly be in every possible aspect.
It came to me that IF I try something and it doesn’t work, it just means it either wasn’t mine to do OR there is a Plan B, or C…or I haven’t learned the lesson yet! If it is that way for me, then why not for you too?
The choice is ours how we approach fear and fears. I choose to embrace mine and be grateful for the warnings, for the directions and for the motivation and impetus. I choose to be grateful for the challenges. I choose to stride towards them and most often THROUGH them, watching them dissipate into a shower of illusory sparks.
My biggest fear? Ahhhhhhhhh – that would be telling!!!
‘Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.’
~ Steve Jobs
Mother’s Day 2012
What you see in these images is my heart outside my body. Grandbabies ( not so baby) were also there but not in these images, but they do tell you all a little about the lot of us.
It has been a long day, and I don’t think any of us could have fit even a small piece more in there – but I would not have been anywhere else or with anyone else.
Mum is so frail now but her spirit is still so full of fun. I am exceptionally blessed and grateful to still have the absolute joy of her in my life daily; by phone, in person, and always heart to heart. She is my friend as well as my mum. We worked hard across many years to build a solid bridge that nothing can shake across which we know and respect each other with no illusions.
And my girls; each one a treasure and a flower that adorns the bouquet of my life.
Can you see how happy I am???
1. I will remember that everything happens for a reason.
There are times when every time I turn around something “bad” or terrible seems to be happening to me, or to someone I love so much it feels like the same thing. Do you ever have years that are just that kind of tough? I am not going to specify what form the disaster takes; it could be economic, or tragic. You know those periods where you get to the end of a year, mutter quietly almost under your breath “mmmm I am glad THAT one is over…” and earnestly look towards a new beginning.
I have realised that every single day is a fresh start, a chance to start over, a blank page to be filled with new dreams.
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ~ Marilyn Monroe
I am learning not to ask why in my mind for some of these experiences. What I can say is each and every one , painful as it is ,and stressful as it is at the time, is cathartic and a huge and immense opportunity for change and growth. It may have taken a lifetime but I am no longer twisting and squirming to avoid these formative challenges. Now, it is almost like I wake in the morning draw my first breath and am just simple grateful I am alive. I am mindful of where I am JUST right now. No matter what comes to me I truly know from long hard experience that I will come out the other end a better person whom I will like more. So I am okay.
What have I learned?
That letting go is tough and hurts, but sometimes it is important as a pathways into what is better. I am not very good at letting go!! Letting go can be a final act of loving. If something is hurting more than it is helping, then it is a gift to free you both. Yes, it hurts. BUT everything worth having always costs you something. It is not a financial cost really – even if it appears that way. If it is only about money it is never going to satisfy the whole of you anyways, so get out of there.
- If you have to wait around for hours and days hoping someone will notice you or make time for you or come home to be with you, then they are not yours anyways. Get out of there!!!!
- If they cannot make you believe their love for you, because the occasional word that says “love” is always followed by a “But……….” Get out of there!
- If YOU always seem to be on the end of the Issues list and ALL the issues seem to be yours and yours to fix, the imbalance alone makes it not right. get out of there.
Take the time to grieve, list the lessons you learned, get back in touch with yourself, and take a big deep breath and launch into YOUR life and living – unencumbered. I promise you life will be better. Life is full to the brim and overflowing with infinite possibilities and configurations.
Remember – don’t confuse power and control with love. Just know that if someone really loves you, their actions will tell you they choose to and want to be with you. Don’t settle for less.
“I chose and my world was shaken. So what? The choice may have been mistaken; the choosing was not. You have to move on.” ~Stephen Sondheim
Don’t waste good time resenting something. From personal experience I have walked that path only to realise much later that this particular wrenching experience was essential step towards making other good things happen. That’s how the universe works, I believe. So even if bad stuff happens now, I do believe there is a reason, and it might take another few decades to find out what it is, but that’s OK. I’ll be thrilled if I’m still here to figure it out.
“How do geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Small Things
It does not take much of anything really to brighten someone’s day; a kind word instead of a criticism, a heartfelt smile instead of judgement. The gesture may seem nothing at all to us, yet to someone needing just that small light, it could be everything.
We never know what people will do with what we feel moved to give or share. In fact, that shouldn’t worry or concern us at all If we feel a need or and urge to speak a kind word , or offer a smile, then THAT is ours to do. That is what we are responsible for. What someone else does with what we say or do, is not ours to worry about – that is THEIR’S.
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” ~ ANON
Maggie in a Mood
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~~Albert Einstein.
There is this small cheeky piece of me that has an increasing impulse to very tongue-in-cheek make a post which is actually an advertisement. I sat on my hands. I didn’t but what if I did??? You see, I have these crazy impulses sometimes. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
What if I placed a post that said:
Wanted. One boyfriend; secure in himself. Must be:
- fit, or actively enthusiastically working towards it – as a lifestyle choice.
- committed to, interested in, willing to pursue a clean organic diet.
- passionate about improving himself, continuously.
- passionate about helping others to become the best person they too can be.
- with a sense of rhythm
- willing to teach enthusiastic woman to find her salsa spirit and channel passion and dance – starting from the basics.
- MUST be patient with woman ( me) – dance muscles long unused and a little rusty; needs limbering, laughter, shared joy and lots and lots of practice.
- lots of adventures ahead…potentially 🙂
I wonder what sort of person might apply?
Maggsworld 